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Call Me Your Majesty
Call Me Your Majesty by: Gina Schreck
Please, Just Call Me Your Majesty I was feeling used, abused, and unappreciated. I had just finished shoveling two feet of snow off of our driveway, building two snow forts for the kids, moping the puddles of melted snow off of our floors, feeding the dogs, picking up sopping clothing and doing two loads of laundry. It was now time to make breakfast for the troops! As I walked into the kitchen I snapped! It wasn’t humanly possible for four people to make this kind of mess! I couldn’t take the abuse any longer. I needed some appreciation. I needed to get away! So I went to the grocery store. As I walked in, an employee greeted me with a wonderful smile and pulled a cart out for me. The sounds of beautiful tinkling piano music began to fill my ears. Aaah, I was feeling better already. As I walked down the bakery aisle, I glanced over and saw a paper crown covered in sparkly gold glitter. Sure it said "Happy Birthday" on it, but I had an idea. I took that crown out of the package and placed it on my head. I then moved swiftly to the produce aisle and snatched a cucumber off the pile. I pulled the Swiss army knife out of my purse, cut two slices out of the middle and took a seat on the granny smith apple table. I placed the two soothing circles of cucumber over my burning eyes and leaned back. I was suddenly transcended to a great palace with servants surrounding me, rubbing my feet, feeding me grapes, playing the harp for me and cleaning up their own messes. As the apples began to fall off the table, I sat up and removed my magic cucumber slices. There were only a few people staring at me as I got up and straightened out my crown. As I continued to walk through the store, I could tell others sensed my royalty, because they seemed to step aside as I walked by. I even strolled down the middle of aisles and stopped for as long as I wanted, to examine the sides of every package. No one dared to move my cart or tell me to get out of the way. I was queen! At least for the moment. As I headed to the checkout, the lines were extremely long, but for some reason, I didn't mind. I stood tall and proud with my royal crown and looked around at my loyal subjects. They were smiling nervously at me as if they had never seen royalty before. I turned and waved to them all, the way any good queen would. After the clerk finished tallying my groceries, I handed her my check and she said, "Thank you Mrs. Schreck." I smiled at this young lady and replied, "Please, you can call me Your Majesty!"
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